school's out.

well… that’s that. today was my last day of work here in excideuil, because the kids have spring break for the next two weeks and i won’t be coming back afterwards. i genuinely cannot believe my job is finished. it doesn’t seem real, to be honest. but come sunday, i’ll be moving out of my apartment and kicking off five solid weeks of traveling before i head back to the states in mid-may… and i suppose it will feel real enough at that point. le sigh.

this week of school was bittersweet. i progressively said goodbye to my students, as our final class ended, and it was harder than i expected! i wrote them a little note, thanking them for such a lovely year and passing along my contact information… but i also did it so that i wouldn’t have to talk in front of my classes and get emotional. i’m terrible at goodbyes. each set of kids has been so precious – i received several going-away presents, and we had two separate mini-parties. the best part, though, has been the flurry of friend requests on social media, because now i know that i can stay in touch with these students as they (hopefully) continue their english studies! because that’s truly the best part of teaching – seeing the progress your students make, and then seeing their delight in recognizing that progress. i hope facebook will serve as a decent substitute, because i know some of these kids will go far!

as my final week of teaching draws to a close, i’m (unsurprisingly) getting more and more nostalgic. already. i can’t help but think about how much i’ve grown to love this place! my students are wonderful, despite their adolescent antics. the teachers are fantastic, and have really made me feel so welcomed and appreciated. i have grown to love this sleepy little village, with its joyful bells and quaint streets. i think what i’ll miss most of all, though, is just the feeling i have when i wake up every day – in france. i’ve been here for ages, it seems, but in reality… hardly any time at all. the novelty of knowing that i’ve had the rare opportunity to live out this dream – living in france, for real – still hasn’t worn off. and while i’m definitely excited to come home next month and see all my friends and family… i’m not looking forward to leaving this place behind. but, as tolkien said, the road goes ever on and on. and while i may be finishing this beautiful, albeit short, chapter in my story, i’m looking forward to seeing what the next page has to offer.

in the interest of brevity, and because i love lists, here is a collection of things i will miss desperately about this year:

- foie gras snack time. i never thought i’d say this, but i love foie gras. and i will miss it so, so much.

- going up to paris for the weekend, just because i can, and enjoying the sunshine in the most beautiful city in the world.

- being greeted by a chorus of “hello!” and “hi jill!” every time i walk into the courtyard at school and honestly, the consistently kind “bonjour” you get from basically everyone.

- the café downstairs, and all the smiling faces i get to see there every day.

- walking through the market on thursday mornings, and seeing all the locals going about their daily lives. and then walking back through the plaza afterwards, and smelling the slightly fishy, slightly earthy smell of the freshly-rinsed asphalt

-traveling like a crazy woman. it has become my favourite thing... can't imagine life without it.

- hearing a mildly out-of-tune ‘ode to joy’ ring out from the church every hour

- my bench by the fountain

- being able to throw a stone from my window and hit buildings from the 14^th century

- pilates with the ladies of excideuil

- seeing my students every day. love those kids.

- my sweet, cozy studio

- speaking french. that goes without saying.

the reason i’m so terrible at goodbyes is because i am so sensitive to finality… something amazing is coming to an end, and i want to be sure that i acknowledge the significance of this moment appropriately because it deserves the attention. unfortunately, i honestly don’t think i could do this experience justice. suffice it to say, i am so very grateful for this place, for these people, for this year as a whole. i feel like my heart has grown through becoming a part of this community… which is good, because i’ll be leaving a good chunk of it behind me when i go. 

not for the faint of heart

last week was full of firsts for me… both professional and experiential. i’ll leave it for you to decide which one was more challenging!

my weekend was bookended by two stints as a school-trip chaperone. i still haven’t been able to decide on an appropriate word to describe the fact that i’m considered “adult” enough to be responsible for school children – perplexing? horrifying? humbling? flattering? at any rate… on thursday, the 13^th, i walked to school at 5:55am, to load up into a van with six students and one other teacher and make the three-hour drive to bordeaux. the kids, all in their final year of high school, were participating in a sort of friendly english-langugae debate tournament with teams from several other high schools in the region. my secondary role at the tournament was to serve as a coach for one of the 8 teams, each made up of kids from different schools. each group debated three times – they were given 25 minutes to prepare and then the actual discussion lasted for about 20 minutes. all in english! overall, i was exceedingly impressed with my team; they had a genuinely impressive level of english, and expressed their ideas and beliefs very articulately. we even won our final debate, in which we had to argue against the necessity of learning a foreign language in today’s world. ironic, considering they were all speaking a foreign language… then, the two teams with the top scores debated in the final round. and one of my kids was on the winning team. :) i had a great time meeting the other students, and also getting to know my students a little better outside of the classroom!

after the tournament was over, i had the driver drop me off at the train station in the city, because (in typical jill fashion) i had planned a little weekend getaway to the south! being just outside of bordeaux made the train journey considerably more convenient, so i couldn’t help but take advantage of the opportunity. unfortunately, thanks to several seemingly-pointless delays and a work truck broken down on the track later on, my 3 hour journey turned into a 7.5 hour journey… oh well. i just hung out on the various trains, reading and chatting with the other passengers. finally, around midnight, i arrived in my destination – the mountain town of pau, where my friend lauren (remember her from my moroccan trip?) is living for the year. it was so lovely to see her again, but it was laaate and we’d both had long days, so my first night in town was a quiet one! we spent the next day exploring pau a little – highlights included touring the impressive castle, shopping in h&m (a luxury for my country bumpkin reality!), having lunch on a café terrace, and wandering through the open-air market. pau actually reminded me a lot of angers, the city where i spent my semester abroad three years ago. naturally, that association made for a good impression of the city! plus, the weather was gorgeous all weekend, with bright sun and comfortable temperatures – a fantastic change from the constant rain of the previous months. the night was topped off with a bacon cheeseburger (!!!) at the pub across the street from lauren’s apartment. it wasn’t like burger up, but it sufficed to tide me over until i’m home in two months!

saturday was my big debut as a future olympian – lauren fulfilled her promise to take me snowboarding in the pyrenees! several of her friends joined us for the hour-long bus ride to gourette, a ski station nestled right into the middle of some seriously snowy peaks. we arrived around 9am, and i headed to the gear rental shop to get outfitted. i chose to snowboard for two main reasons: lauren snowboards and could therefore teach me a little better, and somehow one sliding plank attached to my feet seemed easier to control than two. once i had my board, shoes, and helmet, we headed up to the bunny slopes. now, as someone who is not quite what you would call athletic, i had my doubts about my potential success on the mountain. and, true to expectation, my first “run” was basically what you would call a comical disaster, in my opinion. but lauren was endlessly patient and very encouraging, and i made it down the mountain having only fallen once every 14 seconds. from that point on, i was determined to get the hang of it; in my rare moments of vertical, forward motion, i could sense that it was something i would actually enjoy, if i could just stay upright! my second run was definitely better – i pretty much only fell when i tried to turn on my toes. i took a break after the second run, to rest my aching knees/hands/butt/body in general, and to give lauren a chance to do a run or two on the big girl trails. the rest of the day was spent in similar fashion – two runs, break, repeat. i did a few runs by myself, and by the end of the day, i actually made it down the mountain without falling a few times! granted, i spent a large portion of the descent “braking” and generally avoiding collisions, but still! i was so proud of myself, especially since i don’t particularly care for extreme sports – something about the speed and seeming lack of immediate control doesn’t sit well with me. but, i was happy to have tried it and found moderate (albeit hard-earned and painful) success! the bus ride back revealed several aches i had not yet noted, and by the time we got home, i was miiiiserable. we took baths to try and soothe our protesting muscles and joints, and were passed out by 9pm. not exactly party girls, but there was no rallying after the sheer physical exertion of that day!

after making my way home on sunday (slowly, but without the delays of thursday’s journey), i had one day to rest before heading out on my second chaperoning stint  - an overnight high school theatre festival! the festival took place in perigueux, so it wasn’t as long of a journey. my kids were performing a play that the freshmen had written, as a part of a workshop led by a local playwright earlier in the year. and, since that was a noteworthy-enough achievement, the freshmen had been invited to present their work to the audience before watching their play for the first time! we arrived around 9:30, and the kids were on stage by 11. having participated in both the school theatre productions and the local theatre company,  i was very, very interested to see the kind of theatre these groups put on. it was all, in typical french fashion, very post-modern and metaphorical, in a “theatre of the absurd” kind of way. a far cry from the musicals of my youth, to be sure. our kids performed splendidly, and i was just as impressed with the writing. we had lunch in the lobby of the theatre before heading down the street to watch what ended up being the weirdest dance performance i have ever witnessed. i couldn’t even begin to describe it adequately; suffice to say, it took “absurd” to a whole new level. there was lots of rolling around on the ground and balancing upside-down, and also a part where the dancer (a solitary woman) was naked from the waist up. talk about an american moment… i couldn’t stop myself from wondering what the reaction to that would be in the states, with a room full of minors. the rest of the day was spent watching the other schools perform their plays. my reactions ranged from pleasantly surprised to completely baffled to moderately offended. but i guess that’s what theatre is all about – creating emotion in the heart of the audience. as different as that theatre experience was from my own high school show tunes, there is one constant in the equation – teenagers. the overnight stay in the hotel was basically exactly what you’d expect from a group of 15-17 year olds left to their own devices… thankfully, everyone survived the night. all i will say is that i genuinely hope i never have to be the figure of actual authority in a situation like that. i much preferred being the cool semi-teacher that could act as a sort of go-between for the kids and the real adults. by the time the next shift of teachers showed up to take over, i was very ready to be home in my own bed!

photos from pau can be found here. this coming weekend, i’m jumping up to paris to hang out with connor (also of moroccan vacation fame!). stay tuned! :)

meeting in the middle

this week at school was eye-opening on a professional and cultural level. i had the opportunity to just sit in the back and observe a little more than normal (as opposed to taking small groups into the media lab to lead discussions) and i also got to speak with several of my older students about their opinions and pre-existing understanding of the usa. so, in a multitude of ways, i got a first-hand look into several parts of what makes this country the way it is… something i would dearly love to understand.

i’ve always toyed with the idea of teaching – to put it very simply, i love knowing things, and i love sharing that knowledge with others. i’m generally a patient and encouraging person, and i try to nurture learners in whatever way they need. i even started college thinking i was going to get my master’s in education and be a high school teacher. it took about 4 weeks of my first education class before i realized that i didn’t want to go that route. too much administration in the schools and not enough kids enthusiastic about foreign languages these days made for a less-than-appealing career path. i tutored french all through college, however, and i really loved it. my passion for imparting knowledge and the joy i feel when something finally clicks with my student… that never went away. the thought of coming here to france to teach english seemed like a happy medium; i always thought i would teach french, but i was afraid the years of standardization and less-than-enthusiastic teenagers would drain me of my love for it. here, as an english assistant, i’m sort of on my home turf, even though i’m thousands of miles away. being a native anglophone levels the playing field, in a certain regard, because there is no doubt in these kids’ minds that they could benefit from my help. so far, i’ve enjoyed the teaching aspects of my job – the satisfaction of helping students understand something difficult hasn’t changed a bit, and i’m learning a lot about teaching a foreign language (even if it isn’t foreign to me). for example, sometimes, when you ask what you expect is a very simple question, it might take the class 15 minutes to arrive at the answer – some of the subconscious connections you make in your mind just aren’t natural outside of your mother tongue. i certainly feel that way in french a lot of the time! while it can be frustrating to be patient and let the kids arrive there on their own, the final result is all the more exhilarating.

today, i got to have several short one-on-one discussions with some of the “terminale” students, who are in their last year of high school. at the end of this year, when they take their enormously important final exams, they are supposed to be able to comfortably and coherently express themselves in english, on a multitude of topics. part of the evaluation involves a 5 minute presentation, followed by a 5 minute question-and-answer session, which can be incredibly daunting, even in one’s native language. in an effort to get the kids used to speaking, we do these interview sessions, speed-dating style. today’s questions all centered around the usa, which made it even more interesting for me! i got to ask the students questions such as, “what do you know about american history?” and “what do you think about american culture?” not surprisingly, all of their answers regarding american history were about the world wars, and they told me they thought americans were more friendly but more concerned with superficial things (and ate lots of macdonalds). in return, i was challenged with questions like “what do you think the usa will be like in 50 years?” and “what do you think the average american is like?” it was an exceptionally interesting afternoon for me, both in hearing their points of view and trying to critically examine and express my own.

anyway, remember how i said i was living in perpetual vacation? well, tomorrow after work, i’m heading to bordeaux so i can be there for a mandatory, visa-validating medical check-up on wednesday. aaand, since i wouldn’t be able to get back to excideuil until thursday afternoon (thanks, bus schedules), i asked off for wednesday and thursday… therefore granting me a 5.5 day weekend (i live in opposite land). i’m taking advantage of my long weekend to go visit some friends from the states up in gay paree. since bordeaux is a major city, it’s very well-served by the train system – just under 4 hours on a high-speed train to paris! i’ll get there late wednesday evening and leave eeearly monday morning, getting back in time for work at 2pm! :) blog about that to follow!