christmastime in excideuil

surprise! a quick little christmas post, just in time for the holidays. :) the festive spirit has really kicked in here in excideuil. there are lights everywhere – on lamp posts, strung across the streets, draped in trees, adorning the church. the village even set up three huge pines, strategically placed throughout the town, and adorned several of the drainpipes on my street with pine branches. my favourite decoration, though, are the cheerful paintings that many of the local business owners commissioned to brighten up their windows. my upstairs neighbor, christelle, is a wonderfully gifted artist, and she created personalized designs for each business – the shoe repair shop has a boot, the printer has a book, the appliance shop has santa delivering an electric heater… it’s adorable. i also was lucky enough to be included in the decorating committee for the café downstairs. we spent all afternoon a few weekends ago setting up the tree, draping lights and streamers around the room, and just generally adding christmas cheer to the already bright and lively coffee shop. it made me feel so much more at home to get to do something so traditionally comforting. check out my cute christmas village here!

now that i’ve gotten to enjoy the christmas-y atmosphere of the village for a few weeks, it’s high time for another break, if i do say so myself. amazingly, this semester is drawing to a close already.. and poor me, i’ve only had like 3 weeks of vacation so far! happily, i leave tomorrow for my christmas break. i won’t spoil the surprise, since i will surely blog about my experiences once i’m back.. but i’ll be in cambridge, england for the first week and hopping around ireland for the second week! as ever, getting there is half the fun – the rest of this week will be filled with reunions, as i stop off in a new place each day to catch up with old friends, before finally arriving in england on friday! at first, it seemed silly to take 4 days to get somewhere when i could go much more directly and be there in about 4 hours.. but i’m excited to be seeing everyone along the way!

as much as i enjoy my little idyllic countryside home, i can’t wait to spend time in places that have traffic lights and shops open past 5 pm!! …sarcasm aside, i am so looking forward to seeing some dear friends and celebrating the holiday season together. it’ll be my first one away from home, and i am so blessed to have such a great group to share it with. hopefully i’ll get to post from the road – if not, i’d like to wish everyone a merry christmas and a very prosperous and adventure-filled 2014!

lost in translation

i just realized that i only feel the need to share something on this blog when i’m preparing for or have just returned from a trip… which is probably unfair of me, because this whole year is a trip, in many ways.

i’m finally feeling settled in here in excideuil - both a blessing and a curse. christmas break starts next week, which will bring my longest stretch of work (two and a half weeks straight with only my 3.5 day weekends to comfort me) to an end. with a job that’s only 12 hours a week, i’ve had loads of time… to go on walks, to watch tv, to skype, to think. and as someone who spends the vast majority of her time lost deep in her own mind, my thoughts have strayed all over the map (literally and figuratively). i find myself planning trips often; several i intend on carrying out, and many others that i’ll probably never take, just out of curiosity to see if it’s a feasible plan. i imagine where i’ll move next, and then the next place after that, and the next… the “what-if” part of me has had a serious work-out here the last few weeks.

of course, i think about language a lot. what it means to communicate, how language forms such an integral part of our identity. it’s incredible to realize how much of yourself is ingrained in the way you express your thoughts and feelings. in some sense, that’s all you are, since people can’t read minds (maybe?). you have to get your point across somehow. this revelation shouldn’t come as a surprise, but doing it in a second language is H-A-R-D. when you’re first learning to speak as a child, you pick up mannerisms and subtleties that are almost impossible to imitate from an outsider’s perspective. i’ve been lucky in that i’ve made friends with several wonderful people who have really helped me make my french into something comfortable and colloquial – i am much more at ease speaking french than i ever have been before. that said… i still feel like a grown-up baby sometimes. there are moments when i get so frustrated because i feel like i just can’t talk. i have a firm hold on my grammar skills and vocabulary, that’s not the problem. now, the goal is not just to say the correct words – it’s to genuinely express myself. and often, i just feel like the “me” that i think i am is lost in translation. i’ll hear myself respond to a question, and i’ll think “did i just say that? do i really think that??” it’s seriously hard to be yourself in another language – you lose a lot of the humour and idiomatic expression that you never knew you relied upon to communicate. the tone of a joke, the way sarcasm comes across, the subtle wordplay of linguistic ambiguity… it’s just not the same in a second language. if i stayed here for years and years, i’m sure i would be able to get to that point… but i’ve been learning lately that it takes much, much longer than i originally thought. and as much as i honestly do love speaking french nearly every day, being here has made me appreciate english again, which is nice.

the most challenging part of this process is feeling like people here don’t know the real me… as an introvert, it’s essential that i feel known by a core group of people or i start to feel completely isolated from humanity. and i have certainly felt lonely since arriving… i can only have so many surface-level conversations before i start itching for a topic that’s a little more substantial. after all, how can you get to know someone – really know them – without asking serious questions? i feel like i haven’t had a serious, face-to-face conversation in ages. i suppose that’s why i feel like people don’t know me here. but maybe they do. even if i can’t say exactly the words i mean with exactly the right connotations, i hope that my spirit is visible to those around me – at the end of the day, i think that being genuine transcends language. as cliché as it might be, a smile is the same in every language!

aaaaanyway, this post was mostly self-indulgent. i know that i’m not alone, and i am grateful for the support i receive from family and friends on essentially a daily basis. but it’s definitely been on my mind! stay tuned for a christmas-in-excideuil post, coming soon. :)

thanksgiving, à la française

before i left the states back in early september, my mom went above-and-beyond the call of duty and made me a full thanksgiving dinner.  she was worried that i would be sad about missing out on the best meal of the year, so she pulled out all the stops. and i was truly grateful, because there is nothing like sitting in my dining room with my whole family and eating some seriously fantastic grub. and she was right, in a certain sense – today was a sad day, in a way. but the pang i felt in my heart when i thought about everyone gathering together back home without me was soothed in no small measure by the joy that i’ve gotten to experience during this season in france. not only did i get a bonus thanksgiving-in-august, but i got to celebrate it in three different ways over here in europe! so really, moving abroad just multiplies the festivity, if you can find the right people. and it certainly magnifies the sense of gratitude!

thanksgiving #1 - friendsgiving

this past week, i had the absolute privilege of sharing a thanksgiving meal with about 30 people, hosted by the home-church group that my friend devon and her husband attend in paris. the dinner was at the home of michael and sara, who live in a beautiful apartment in the marais district of paris and evidently have no qualms with welcoming all the waifs and strays! there were plenty of expats there, from all over the world, and a few native frenchies as well.. my friend jessie and i enjoyed getting to know several of the guests as we all chowed down on the standards – turkey, stuffing, potatoes, corn casserole, green bean casserole, cranberry sauce (!!!) – as well as some traditional dishes from other countries! and let’s not forget the desserts, which took up the entire table after the first round was cleared away. the atmosphere was lovely, the food was delicious, and the people were warm and welcoming – it truly felt like a family gathering, despite the fact that the majority of the group had never met. at the end of the evening, several of the church members made sandwiches with the leftovers and encouraged all of the guests to grab a few on the way out, so that we could share the bounty we had enjoyed with someone less-fortunate who looked like they could use something to eat. it was a really sweet gesture, totally in keeping with the attitude and generosity of everyone i met that evening. i ended up leaving one sandwich next to a woman sleeping bundle of ragged blankets in a little alcove down the street, and giving another to a man near notre dame, who sat under an umbrella with two little dogs tucked inside his over-sized coat. it wasn’t much, but i was happy to give someone a break from hunger, if only for one night.

thanksgiving #2 – chez moi

the sensation of immense gratitude carried over to monday, when i finally got home to my little village to find a thanksgiving package from home waiting for me on my doorstep! i knew it had been sent, but it was still such a nice surprise to see my mom’s handwriting smiling at me from my threshold the moment i got home. and the contents of that box were faaaantastic! here’s an inventory: poultry seasoning (for the stuffing!), jif peanut butter (per my request), cupcake baking cups, taco bell sauce packets, red sprinkles, a nature valley protein bar, turkey gravy mix and alfredo sauce mix from kroger, some christmas decorations, a sponge, betty crocker peanut butter cookie mix, some tea, airborne tablets, a turkey dishtowel, and a card. now, i know that some of those things might seem random or kind of meaningless… but it was so great. sometimes, it’s just nice to see things from home for novelty’s sake; i don’t even like taco bell, really, but those sauce packets made me smile! and i may live in one of the culinary capitals of the world, but there are times when absolutely nothing beats an apple and peanut butter. and the simple act of hanging that turkey-appliquéd dishtowel on my toaster oven’s handle made me feel like i was back in the kitchen at home. but i digress...

cooking for one is hard; i’ve said it before, but it’s never been more true when you’re cooking a meal that usually needs to serve a dozen people or more. i decided that i wanted to do a little thanksgiving meal for myself, just to get a taste of home, so i asked my mom to send my grandmother’s stuffing recipe (hence the poultry seasoning in my box). well! this morning, i made that stuffing, and let me tell you… it was great. i toasted, cubed, and staged the bread last night, so it was all nice and dried-out by the morning! the process itself was simple – sautée onions and celery, add chicken stock and seasoning, mix in bread cubes, put in oven – but the act of making it gave me such a feeling of nostalgia! granted, i’ve never been the one to make the stuffing before, but just having the smell in my apartment was enough to make me feel like i was back in franklin. i also made a teensy serving of mashed potatoes and got two turkey breast fillets from the supermarket – three cheers for a thanksgiving dinner for one! and as a bonus, i skyped my parents while they were at our big extended family dinner, so i even had the chance to say hi to everyone!

thanksgiving #3 – sharing the message at school:

as an english assistant, i’m somewhat of an ambassador between my american culture and that of my students. last week and this week, a few of my teachers took advantage of the holiday season to talk about america – in some of the younger classes, that meant discussing thanksgiving! i can’t explain how strange it was to hear a holiday that i’m so familiar with boiled down to the bare bones – “it’s a day where families gather to eat a turkey and pray to God.” i mean… that’s true for some people, i guess, so i couldn’t correct them. but i enjoyed the lessons, because it was a great opportunity for me to share what thanksgiving really means. the kids had basically no idea (short of the turkey/God thing), so i had a blank slate! after a little reflection, i told them that thanksgiving was a day where families gather together and shared a meal (had to keep the english level pretty simple..) in order to express their gratitude for everything they have. despite being a historically catholic country, france is exceptionally unreligious, so i tried to stay away from talking about thankfulness in purely a religious sense. also, explaining the concept of blessings was difficult. the story of the first thanksgiving was also challenging. historically, the whole “pilgrims and indians eating together” might not be entirely accurate… but at least it gives a better origin story than “we kinda just came and displaced and/or killed pretty much everyone, and then centuries later, the government arbitrarily decided to create a holiday about it for commercial purposes.” sooooo… pilgrims and indians it is. i focused more on the fellowship and quality time aspects of the holiday. :)

so, in summary, i am thankful for…

…a God who loves me unconditionally and never fails to provide for me, 

who lets me make mistakes so i can learn the way i learn best,
 and who blesses me endlessly every day.

…a family who supports me and encourages my insatiable desire for adventure.

…a job that allows me to pursue those adventures, 

while simultaneously providing new experiences in and of itself.

...coworkers and students who are supportive, engaging, and patient.

…a body that puts up with all the shenanigans i put it through 

and remains in moderately good health – traveling is hard, y’all!

…a wonderful apartment in a great community.

…the people i love who are spread out all over the world (literally).

…the miracle of technology, which lets me stay connected with aforementioned 
loved ones via various social media.

…peanut butter.

happy thanksgiving, everyone! :)

ps - i documented my little thanksgiving cooking experience here if you’d like to see it!

                                                        

silver and gold

this entry is going to be a little more of a “captain’s log” style… too much to recount!

as i mentioned in my last post, i had a medical appointment on wednesday, in bordeaux. basically, the immigration office needed proof that i am, in fact, alive and not likely to cost them too much over the course of my stay here in france. so, i spent two hours on wednesday afternoon hanging out with several other assistants (we’d all been given the same appointment window), and intermittently entering various offices to discuss my vaccination history, strip from the waist up for a chest x-ray (no TB here, yay!), read a tiny line of text across the room, and finally get that long-sought-after OFII sticker in my passport. now, i’m a legal citizen! at least, until june…

one nice (read: incredible) part about my job is the flexibility. the principal had no issues with me taking wednesday and thursday off for this doctor appointment, so i made the most of my time and went up to paris for a long weekend! i was excited to see the city again, but i was more excited to finally get a chance to catch up with one of my closest friends from my semester in angers! jessie lived across the hall from me, and is basically the reason i stayed sane during my time abroad. she introduced me to several other international students on our floor, who ended up becoming like family to me. seeing her this week in paris felt like a true completion of my prodigal return to france! she met me at the metro stop near her house late wednesday night, and i’m pretty sure we didn’t stop laughing until i left eeearly monday morning. love that girl.

being back in paris was a little surreal – i’ve visited several times before, but it had been over two years since my last visit. it was also the first time that i’d gone primarily to visit friends (as opposed to going for touristy purposes), and i genuinely enjoyed the lack of pressure i felt to go, go, go all day, every day. i spent a lot of the weekend simply walking around various neighborhoods, soaking up the atmosphere and marveling at the beauty that i found in literally every direction. i did, however, do a few touristy things… i spent the better part of thursday afternoon meandering through the louvre, since i hadn’t been since 2008 and i can get in for free with my newly-validated residency visa. i was particularly blown away by several of the greek and roman scultures, but my favourite part was the decorative arts wing, which includes the napoleonic apartments. having just finished reading vanity fair, it was cool to see what the setting of the novel looked like in person. i really enjoyed walking through rooms that held such historical significance, especially since they’re not reproductions – real life happened in those rooms. or, as real as early 19th century napoleonic society could be. i love imagining all the women in their gowns and jewels and feathered hair ornaments, perching daintily on the crushed red velvet couches in the salons, and the men with their breeches and starched neckclothes and quizzing glasses. if i had a time machine, that’s definitely where i would go.

thursday actually was kind of a luxurious day. when i left the louvre, i walked along the rue de rivoli until i passed a fancy-looking bookshop (you know how i can’t resist the allure of a nice book display) and ducked inside… only to almost immediately and very nearly bump into karl lagerfeld, of chanel fame. he came in to pick up a few gifts, and you would have thought a member of the royal family had walked in, with the way the employees jumped up to help him. although, i suppose that he is sort of royalty in fashion-loving paris. i continued my walk all the way down to the eiffel tower, where i enjoyed a little picnic dinner and watched that steel celebrity sparkle for a little while. there really is nothing like it anywhere in the world. right as i was about to head back to the apartment, jessie called and said she’d gotten tickets through her university to attend a play at the “theatre de la ville” for free that evening! evidently, it was the play to see in paris right now, so i scurried over there and met up with her and her classmates. it was a packed house – there were even people standing outside, trying to scalp tickets! so, i guess it really is popular. i had no idea what the play even was called, let alone what it was about! as it turns out, it was a two-man show called “the old woman,” which is a sort of theatre-of-the-absurd work, based off of a russian poem, and performed by none other than willem dafoe and mikael baryshnikov! it lived up to its genre… it was certainly absurdly bizarre, but i enjoyed it purely as a cultural experience.

friday was all about friendship. i walked around a little in the morning, did some grocery shopping, and then had a big lunch prepared for when jessie got home from school around 2pm! we ate and talked for a long while, just enjoying the opportunity we had to finally catch up after nearly two and a half years! it was so lovely, and really felt like we picked up right where we left off. then, around 8, jessie got ready for a night out with her NYU classmates, and i got ready to go have dinner with another friend of mine in paris, devon! she was a french major at belmont who graduated my freshman year, so we never really got to know each other during college. however, since she had studied abroad in angers, she was always the person to whom  we were referred with questions about life as an exchange student. so, we’ve communicated on facebook intermittently for years. now, she’s living with her french husband (who she met while studying abroad, precious!) in paris. she is a true gem – we sat in her little studio apartment and talked for almost 5 hours; i only left because i had to get the last metro home! it was so, so great to finally have the opportunity to sit down in person and get to know each other – it already felt like we had known each other for ages!

saturday was much more relaxed. after the late night, jess and i both enjoyed sleeping in and making breakfast for lunch! one interesting thing about the holiday season over here is that, for obvious reasons, it goes straight from halloween to christmas… so paris was in full christmas mode during my visit! we spent the afternoon wandering through the christmas market that lines the champs-elysees, stretching all the way from the place georges clemenceau to the place de la concorde. jessie’s friend emily joined us, and we did a little shopping and a lot of eating – there is nothing like holiday fair food. from there, we headed down the seine to my favourite place in paris – shakespeare and company. i go there every time i’m in the city, and it never fails to make my heart skip a beat. i have dreamed of working there since the first time i visited, and that dream is still alive. one day! the evening was spent walking through bustling streets, eating crepes in paper cones and enjoying the festive atmosphere.

the grand finale of my weekend in paris was a wonderful ex-pat thanksgiving dinner, given by two lovely friends of my friend, devon... it was an absolute treat! devon invited me (and Jessie!) to join her home-church group for a big meal on Sunday. i’ll save my reflections about celebrating thanksgiving abroad for my post later in the week; suffice it to say, i have been immeasurably blessed with friends in this world, both old and new, and i thank the lord every day for those relationships!

as always, to see photos from this trip, check my facebook album here, starting at photo 25!

the title of this blog comes from the “friends both new and old” concept… but it also reminded me, indirectly, of a great christmas tradition in my family (and many others, i’m sure). here’s a sneak preview, to get you in the spirit. it’s that time of year again!